i just realized that i haved been on AIM in like....at least two weeks...maybe even three. i would have thought i would be on it every second of every day keeping in touch with everyone from school, but for some reason, i havent. part of the reason is because, if anyone has ever seen me when i am talking to people, there are like 8 windows up at once and its kind of frustrating to keep track of 8 different conversations. especially when 6 of them are right down the hall. now i know times have changed and no one is just down the hall anymore, but for some reason, i still dont like it. thats why they created facebook and myspace, so people could communicate through message, and thats working quite well for me at the moment. i dont have time to talk online anyways. i work, run, eat, shower and sleep. thats pretty much my day. but tonight is rediculous. its saturday night and i have been sitting at home since 8:30 because i am a loser and no one likes me. just kidding. a couple of my friends are working and some have other plans. i guess i cant really complain if i dont do anything about it though. i could just as easily pick up the phone and say, hey, lets go do something. but thats another thing. my group of friends that were inseparable in high school, is no longer a "group". it seems like 2 of the couples have split off, 1 new couple is in a league of their own, and then there are us 3 single kids. and someone is always fighting. so thats why i am sitting at home alone on a saturday night. pathetic. i know. thats what i miss about school. late night rides to the park, watching movies together, watching the late show, doing crazy things in the middle room, late night bali's runs. i really miss it. as much as i love it here (despite the fact that its almost 100 degrees everyday), i want to go back to school and just be around people again. im so lonely here. i really wish i had a car too. that would make things so much easier because then i could take my road trip and go visit and not be lonely anymore. if i didnt mention it before, i have been having car delemas. my truck broke down so we got a rental, then we had to give the rental back, and i have my dads truck for the weekend, but come monday i will be carless again. its such a pain trying to find a car to drive, and its so frustrating because driving is such an essentail part of my day. no drive=no work, and no work=no money. and i cant run anywhere around my house so it also=lazy, fat bum. haha. well, now that i have gone off on another tangent, why not go off again. right outside the sliding glass door of my room is such a great place to watch the sunset, + we have a hammock out there so that makes it easy. i saw the most amazing thing the other day. when the sun was setting it was this huge red burning ball. the color was the coolest part. i dont think i have ever seen the sun that red before.(not that i pat a whole lot of attention) but it was sooo beautiful. the past couple days have been pretty good too. i have started watching it because its actually pretty cool. this isnt the one i was talking about, but still pretty.



the only thing that would make it better would be if it could be the beach that was right outside my door. actually theres one other thing that would just be the icing on the cake but we will just not get into that. this weekend is the first one that i have not been to the beach. :( i feel like i need to just go for like an hour or something, just so i can keep up my streak. too bad its so far. oooohhhh....the remake of charlie and the chocolate factory came out yesterday. i want to see it!!!! if anyone sees it, let me know how it is!!! i probabaly wont have time until next weekend, if i can fit it into my busy schedule. oh wait, i have no schedule on the weekends. i got really frustrated today for some reason. i dont really know the exact reason, but after i dropped my friend off at 8:30, i felt like i was driving home to nothingness. i would have rather driven around all night then go home. i feel better now but i feel like i just want to go back to last year at school. never a dull moment. i just hope next year can be half as good.
i miss you.
alot.